Mount St. Helens Home to Mutant Bug!!

Hahaha, because I'm still totally immature at heart I find this picture totally funtastic:

Who's Shooting at the Indians?

OK, I could maybe understand shooting at the Indians when they were really good but what's the point these days?*

Indians pitcher shotwhile on team bus

*it's never appropiate to shoot other people.

Boom!

Did you hear that Mount St. Helens might erupt soon? It probably just be a small eruption, meaning it probably won't take half the mountain top off this time.

I've been slightly obsessed with Mount St. Helens since I was a kid. I used to watch the movie all the time. And now I'll stop everything if I find a documentary about it on TV... it's even a goal of mine to hike it one day. Volcanoes amaze me more than any other natural phenomenon. Screw hurricanes and earthquakes, there so overdone.* Anywho - there is this cool VolcanoCam on the Mount St. Helens National Volcanic Monument website. It updates every five minutes, so you just might be able to catch this eruption live-ish (of course, if you have a TV handy, you could catch it a whole lot live-er, but only if you watch news channels all day). Unless of course, it erupts at night or before the fog lifts in the morning... because then the VolcanoCam just looks broken.

*Calm it, I'm just kidding.

Lost Rocks!

No, I didn't lose any rocks... I'm talking about the new ABC show, Lost. It is like the best new show of the year... there I said it. Last night's episode was so crazy good. I mean, Polar Bears and 16 year-old distress calls and Kate's the prisoner? In the words of the cute hobbit, where are they? I don't know how long they can keep it up but I'm definitely hooked.

America's Going Down

And here's the latest proof...

Desperation and 80 Pound Paper Stock in Ohio

Grrr.

On a related note: if you haven't registered to vote yet, the deadline is Monday, October 4. And make sure you use the correct paper. What are you waiting for?

15 and Getting Straight

Yep, I think 15 and Getting Straight might be my favorite After School Special. It was probably one of the last ones and it starred Drew Barrymore, Corey Feldman and Tatum O'Neal. It was about stupid teen drug addicts in some stupid rehab center where TATUM O'NEAL was a drug counseler... hee. Corey Feldman played the angry teenage boy addict/alcholic/rebel and Drew Barrymore played the angry teenage girl addict/alcholic/bulimic. I could never get over thinking that they were all shooting up between scenes... because you'd have to be stoned to deal with starring in this career killing special. The only one who got out alive was Drew... Ha! I just realized if you abbreviate After School Special you get ASS. How perfect!

Anywho - the new ASS DVD's? Coolest. Packaging. Ever.



It's a Trapper Keeper... fucking hilarious.

Oh, I also really loved the faux-ASS with Ally McBeal as a bulimic who discards her discards in jars in her closet. Eww! Reason No. 5463 why I could never be bulimic... heh, so I guess it worked.

And then there's the classic anti-drug ASS, where Helen Hunt jumps out the window while on LSD or some other drug. That one just made me laugh. I mean, trying to convince us that if you do drugs, even once, you might lose it & jump out of a window? Puh-lease. I've known a lot of drugsters in my life and I've never seen/heard anything so ridiculous. But don't do drugs anyway, mm-kay?

Half-toasted Cheese Sandwich

Dear Me -

The broiler feature on a toaster oven only toasts one-side of the sandwich. So, don't do that again...

Thanks!

Me

End of Summer

Boo! Summer is over and it will soon be cold and snowy and otherwise miserable. Now comes the update about how I did with my lil' summer "goals" - let's start with the movies...

I wanted to see 10. I actually saw 5. Mission status: failure.

Now I did a lot better with Documentary Summer... I don't remember what any of them were called so I'll just recap the subjects:

Cary Grant
Prince Charles
Pearl Harbor
D-Day
Czarist Russia
The Bermuda Triangle
Poker
Cosa Nostra (The mafia)
9/11
Drew Barrymore
Star Wars
Sharks

I think there were more but I'm drawing a blank...

And finally, this wasn't an actual goal but I finally saw the entire Band of Brothers series.

Barf!

I have accidentally eaten half a bag of Indian corn... I think I may puke. OK, so it wasn't exactly an accident but either way, I'm SO done with candy corn for the year. And it's not even October yet...

O.C. Withdrawal

I forgot how much I love The O.C. until they teased me with 2 specials. Now I can barely stand to wait until the first season comes out on DVD (Oct. 26) and the new season premieres on Nov. 4! That's one of the great things about faux-TiVo, I have both of the specials and the season finale. I only wish that episode didn't make me want to slit my wrists... but the previews for the new season look hopeful.

What the People???

You know how most communist countries eventually collapse under the weight of their own oppression? Well, this country is going to collapse under the weight of it's stupidity if things don't change soon...

House Votes to 'Protect' Pledge of Allegiance

Dear House of Representatives -

Please don't step on the basic framework of our constitution just so you can show off during an election year. There's this little tiny reason why the bill you passed today is a waste of time and it's called checks and balances, aka separation of powers. Remember that part of the constitution? You can't make a law that takes power away from the judicial branch which is there to make sure you aren't abusing your power. It's un-American... fucktards. And don't even get me started on that stupid pledge of allegiance your trying to "protect" because my veins can't take anymore today.

What is With This Guy?

How does the President get away with making ridiculous speeches like he did today? You know the ones, where he gets all defensive and cocky and misrepresents the criticisms about the Iraq war...

U.S. won't abandon Iraqi people

Who the hell said anything about ABANDONING the Iraqi people? Who? This guy is so infuriating he makes veins stick out of my forehead... it's like a hamster is running the country. He just keeps running circles around the actual issue. Which is (for the record) that our current course of action in Iraq is failing and that it's making America less safe. Fucktard.

And Over Here is the Sex Swing...

I see from this slideshow of Tommy Lee's house that the realtor made him take down his sex swing... wouldn't it add to the value of the home? Oh, but the hooks are still there - that's handy. Meanwhile, I could watch said slideshow all day long... what a gorgeous house. And may I say, it's decorated quite well. Just what I'd expect in a rock star's home. Well, except the missing sex swing part...

Jacinda Barrett

So I'm watching Letterman last night when on comes the Ladder 49 trailer. And faster than you can say faux-Tivo, I'm rewinding my TV over and over trying to figure out if that could really be Jacinda Barrett* playing the love interest of Joaquin Phoenix. And holy shit, it is. Wow! For those who don't live in the same pop culture bubble as me, Jacinda Barrett is a former Real Worlder. The Real World: London (season 4) to be exact. My favorite castmember from my second favorite season (San Fran was my #1 fave).

I've always rooted for Jacinda because she moved on after her season ended and never looked back. Unlike some, she's quietly pursued an acting career and steered clear of the recent gasping-for-more-airtime reunions and Real World/Road Rules challenges. She was on one of my favorite blink or you'll miss it TV series: Zoe, Duncan, Jack & Jane (which starred then-unknown Selma Blair). Then she moved on to two short-lived dramas DC and Citizen Baines. I loved Citizen Baines. Anywho - that was the last I remember hearing about her until she popped up on the Ladder 49 commercial. I guess she's also in the upcoming Bridget Jones sequel. Hmmm, good for her.

*yes, she's where I got the name Jacinda from.

Everyone Off the Peace Train!

*Thank you FBI for keeping me safe from the evil man who wrote Moonshadow. Yes, because you told me so, I now know that Cat Stevens is very dangerous and a huge national security threat. Thank God you came up with that foolproof watch list. I just know he was planning to load up his Peace Train** with explosives and run it full speed into the White House. I will now burn his greatest hits CD in protest of his evil ways. Because I am a good American.

*mmhmm, that's right I'm being sarcastic.
**Hee - that sounds a little dirty.

Boo! Hiss!

This time I got the date of the CSI: Miami season premiere right. And may I say, what a loud of crap! First, they killed off Speed within the first half an hour. Then he doesn't even get to die with dignity. Poor gun maintenance. Blah. And now I hear that it wasn't exactly Rory Cochrane's decision to leave the show. It was a salary dispute. Bastards... he was the only reason I started wathcing that show in the first place.

Kielbasa!!

Why don't people like Scrubs? It's got to be the best sitcom in the last 5 years... so why don't people watch it? WHY???? And why does NBC treat it like an evil stepchild? Moving it all around and bumping it during sweeps. Way to treat your best sitcom, buttheads.

The show is so good that it doesn't even fall victim to stunt casting disasters (a la Will & Grace). I thought for sure Heather Graham would ruin this season but she's been hilarious. In fact she's my new favorite Scrubs guest star... at least until Freddy Rodriguez comes back as Carla's brother. Hee.

Anywho - watch it or you're not cool.

Oprah gives entire audience new cars

I think Oprah might be crazy... and I'm really not that big of a fan. I'd probably never go see her but I just know the day I went would be the day she gave out donuts. I'd really love to go see that show she does at Xmas where everybody gets everything she loves.

Surprise! Oprah gives entire audience new cars

New TV

Let's see, how many returning shows do I care to return to? Will & Grace, The O.C., ER, The Simpsons, Arrested Development, Las Vegas, Scrubs, America's Next Top Model, and The Real World. And the Fox shows don't return until November. Add in Joey and that's only 5 hours of TV that I'm committed to per week. I must do something about this immediately. There are some new shows I'm interested in giving a chance and these are they:

Jack & Bobby - The WB, Sunday 9pm

Kevin Hill - UPN, Wednesday 9pm

Lost - ABC, Wednesday 8pm

CSI: NY - CBS, Wednesday 10pm

Now, unfortunately, Lost conflicts with America's Next Top Model, which for some reason is on Wednesdays this season. But it being UPN there is a great chance that ANTM will be on 2x a week so I'll faux-Tivo one and watch one until I find out. Also there's a huge conflict of Joey/Will & Grace vs. The O.C. coming in November but I have plenty of time to figure that out. The only other conflict I can potentially see depends on what time Arrested Development is going to be on on Sundays. But that's another wait & see deal. So this gives me a decent base schedule:

Sun: Jack & Bobby (9:00)
Mon: Las Vegas (9:00)
Tues: Scrubs (9:30) Real World (10:00)
Wed: Lost/Top Model (8:00) Kevin Hill (9:00) CSI: NY (10:00)
Thurs: Joey (8:00) Will & Grace (8:30) ER (10:00)

This allows me plenty of flexibility. For instance, I can watch the season premiere of CSI: Miami tonight and see the gorgeous Rory Cochrane bite the dust.

:-(

I didn't include Friday & Saturday because these are typically movie nights but when I'm home on Fridays I might check out Medical Investigation w/the super awesome Neal McDonough. I love him.

Dog Triumphs Over Man

This is a great story...

Pup shoots man, saves litter mates

Not only is this guy nursing a gunshot wound inflicted by a puppy but he's also being charged with animal cruelty. I can't believe how ridiculously stupid and cruel people are.

Real World Philadelphia

Another Real World premieres tonight @ 10pm on MTV. I hope this one is better than the San Diego one... I'm asking for too much, aren't I?