I know I already blogged about the VMA's but this Salon recap is hilarious:

MTV's spontaneous night of crazy fun

Maybe I'm not really getting old and the MTV Movie Awards really just suck because I still enjoy the VMA's... but they did leave me wondering some things:

Do Britney & Christina really hate each other? I've always thought that was just a tabloid rumor but they seemed to be leering at each other during their performance with Madonna.

Why does Madonna insist on singing "Hollywood" all the time? I felt like I was watching another bad Gap commercial. Her new CD was great and I enjoy "Hollywood" but there are better songs on there.

Why did everyone change outfits like 5x? And what is with the hideous golf hip hop fashion? And when did Nicki switch places with Paris as the worse dressed Hilton sister?

Is it just me or were there a lot of videos that must have been nominated a day after they came out? I mean Beyonce's "Crazy in Love," J. Lo's "I'm Glad" and that Evanescence video haven't been out more than 2 months have they?

Does MTV expect me to accept "Cry me a River" over "Hurt" for Video of the Year?

What exactly is the point of the MTV2 award? Let's find the 5 worst videos made in the last year and give one of them a moonman?

OK, that it for now...

I'm bored with my blog... I feel like it should reflect my personality more, you know my "Queen of all things hip and cool" personality. Right now, it's not very hip or cool...

I'll have to work on it.

Speaking of government lies, why has this HIGHLY disturbing news not garnered more, well, news? Oh, wait... it might take precious time away from The Governator story. Once again, it's like someone is whispering "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" into our ears...

Report: White House influenced EPA post-9/11 air quality statements

I found this an interesting read... and I loves me a poll:

Of Presidents Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, George HW Bush, and George W Bush, who is most dishonest?

Personally, I gave W the honor of most dishonest. Or technically: "On a scale of 1 (harmless fibbing) to 5 (egregious lying), how big a liar is George W. Bush?" I gave him a big ol' 5... and it seems 66% agreed with me.

Lest we think Michelle is just spewing her usual W-disgust, I wasn't kind to any of them. I'm a deep believer that human beings on a whole lie. A lot. And what Presidents and politicians lie about is usually pretty serious stuff...

So...On a scale of 1 (harmless fibbing) to 5 (egregious lying),
how big a liar was Bill Clinton? 3
how big a liar was George H.W. Bush? 3
how big a liar was Ronald Reagan? 4

But that's just one girl's opin...

You might remember my Jessica Simpson rant after the MTV movie awards but I have to say, I'm slightly addicted to her new reality TV show; Newlyweds. I can't really explain the appeal... she's still annoying beyond belief but... I... just... can't... look... away. Maybe it's wrong to judge someone from a "reality show" but this girl is one cliche away from falling into a dumb blonde black hole. Slate suggests that a good drinking game could come out of Newlyweds... I think a good one would be take a drink every time Jessica Simpson pouts or looks confused. All of us playing along at home would be feeling good 5 minutes into the show...

Toast to the Bride and Groom - MTV's latest celebsploitation show.

Alright, I'll admit that Pete Sampras wasn't the only one crying like a little baby last night during his retirement ceremony.... what can I say, I'm a sucker for musical montages.

Sampras Says Goodbye

There's nothing like hearing there's a boil alert in your city while you're drinking your 3rd liter of tap water today...

Boil Akron water before drinking

I was just shivering at the tempature in the office when I thought:

"Why the hell am I freezing my ass off? I'm the only one here. I have complete control over the air conditioner!"

And now... I'm not cold.

You may remember my exciting ramblings about Isaac Mizrahi's designing a line of clothes for Target... then I saw the clothes.

Yikes! Isaac darling, what were you thinking? The shoes are pretty cute. But the clothes...

Looking at the bright side - this is probably a good thing since, as I mentioned before, I spend too much money at Target already.

I'd like to add this to my list of ways I don't want to die...

Malfunctioning elevator kills man

And how freaky is this statistic:

"Elevators and escalators kill about 30 and injure about 17,100 people each year in the United States, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Consumer Product Safety Commission"

I've always been wary of escalators myself, ever since my brother got knocked down one and took me with him. It took years before either one of us would even get on an escalator again. Now, I'll hop on one but not without some major obsessing about where other people are on it and other crazy things... sure, it happened like 20 years ago but things that hurt a lot tend to stick with you. Much like the time I got my arm stuck in the staircase railing at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. For 2 hours. Surprising painful.

I think that the best commentator on VH1's I Love the 70's is Kermit the Frog. He was especially hilarious during the 1976 episode when they were talking about Rocky and the bicentennial.

The worst commentator? Lisa Marie Presley.

Looks like it's official:

Pete Sampras To Be Saluted at Retirement Ceremony at US Open

Also:

It’s time to appreciate a true champion

A little appreciation from me... the greatest Sampras match I ever watched was also the greatest match I ever watched:

Sampras outlasts Agassi in breathtaking quarterfinal

It's worth the watch if you ever catch it on ESPN Classic.

A couple weeks ago I was wondering if working for the dictionary people was the most boring job on the planet... apparently not. At least if you work for The Oxford English Dictionary where they added over 3,000 new words and phrases this year!

Nothing too ‘Eeyorish’ about new dictionary

The entire 20-volume Oxford English Dictionary costs $2862! Do you think you can take out a loan for a dictionary?

Among the phrases they've added:

blog
muppet
eeyorish
egosurfing
bada bing
24/7

I wonder if the addition of the word blog will inspire the blogger people to add it to their spell check??

Meanwhile, I've been using the phrase bada bing for years and I've never seen the Sopranos - which the media seems to be crediting it to. I'm pretty sure that it was used it in The Godfather... I guess though that it doesn't matter where I picked it up; it sounds like they only accept words that have "officially entered common usage in the United Kingdom."

Word snobs.

I just remembered that I had this dream this morning where I was walking around Westfield and I got bit by a dog and then maliciously attacked by a squirrel, who could talk.

I wonder if there's some hidden meaning in getting attacked by animals... meanwhile, if I was gonna get attacked by a squirrel it would be in Akron not Westfield. I'm pretty sure that the entire squirrel population of Akron (at least in Highland Square) is hyped up on crack...

Which is how I came up* with the phrase:

"_______ is like a squirrel on crack."

*At least I think I came up with it, but just in case here's my "don't sue me disclaimer"...

Michelle is not officially taking credit for the phrase "______ is like a squirrel on crack." She thinks that maybe, possibly, perhaps even, there is a chance that she came up with this phrase on her own but does not discount the possibility that it seeped into her brain through some form of popular culture or through some clever person she encountered sometime in life. And by no accounts does she think that she is the only person witty enough to come up with the phrase "______ is like a squirrel on crack" in the whole history of mankind. The end.

I think that the classic rock station has finally gone too far. They just played the Black Crowes 'Hard to Handle'... that song is from 1990, there is no way it's classic rock.

Now I'm willing to let the newer Aerosmith (for instance, 'Love in an Elevator' from 1994, is on now) and Tom Petty songs slide because at least they can be considered classic rock artists but I think there should be some sort of line drawn... how about this:

The song must be 20 years old or the band must have been well known 20 years ago.

And don't get me wrong, cause I loves me some Black Crowes... it's just that there's a time and another radio station for them.

I'm loving my Style.com horoscope today:

STYLE.COM: SCORPIO

I had a really horribly selfish thought when I heard this:

Phish bassist charged after concert

I hope they don't discontinue my favorite flavor of Ben & Jerry's frozen yogurt (Phish Food) because of this alleged incident. If you've ever had it, you'd understand.

Hmmm... seems I was mistaken. Nicole Kidman is on the cover of September's Vogue. Posh and Becks are on the cover of a men's supplement that comes with.

Ever elegant Kidman illustrates icon status

Hehehe!! If you've heard about the Fox vs. Franken brouhaha* you'll understand why I find this so funny...

Paul Newman Is Still HUD

*If you haven't, please come out of your cave and join the rest of us.

Isaac Mizrahi at Target? As if I didn't spend enough money there!!

Isaac hits the Target

Oooh... looky who's on the cover of Vogue this month:

Vogue Stories

You know I love it.

Friday Five sucked this week... that's why I'm not doing it.

I can't wait for this movie... me, I can't get enough of Bill Murray. Maybe it's my Ghostbusters / Stripes upbringing... I'm pretty sure his absence is why I soooo didn't enjoy Charlie's Angels Full Throttle.

His next movie will be the new Wes Anderson flick filming soon The Life Aquatic... If you saw Bottle Rocket, Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums, you'll know why I also can't wait for that movie!

What am I doing Sunday? Well, besides my book club meeting at Angel Falls, I'll be enjoying the Monkathon on USA.

Alright just so y'all know... you can't park in Municipal Lot #1 in Cleveland Heights without a permit or paying a meter.

Meanwhile... Feast of the Assumption... not sure exactly what it's about, but it's a great time. But don't buy drinks from the cute Italian guy in the 21 and over alley cause it'll cost a LOT of money!

First no electric for 8 hours and than no cable internet at work all day... I feel very unconnected to the world out there. It may take me all weekend to catch up!

I'll admit that The Osbournes had me fooled the other night... I actually thought Jack had killed poor Minnie and was sooo freaked out & glued to MTV that I forgot to turn back to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!

Say It Ain't #%$* So, Ozzy!

This article seems to suggest that maybe the entire show has been scripted but I don't buy it. I'm sure MTV has interfered and edited it so that it appears that some things are a certain way. They've been doing that with The Real World for 12-odd years. But (I think anyway) that they are just twisting what is basically Osbournes reality. And yes, people are really that weird...

I feel like I need to search the internet far and wide for something to link to. Why? Because I haven't blogged in 2 days and I can't think of anything to say...

The best thing about the site I just linked to is what they call the "fake" Paul... Faul.

Faul McCartney, I am definitely calling him that from now on.

More giggles...
hehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!

No, I buried Paul: Undeniable proof that some people have too much time on their hands...

Paul Really Is Dead: Undeniable Proof That Paul McCartney Was Replaced With A Lookalike.

This site makes me giggle endlessly...
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!

Why did the government think people would pay attention to something that looks like a stop light? Haven't they ever driven in this country?

Report suggests overhaul of terror-warning system

For the record, I think people would pay more attention to this:



Believe me you... if Elmo flashes acrossed my TV or computer screen, I'm running for the nearest plastic & duck taped room!

I'm noticing lately that there are a lot of great movies that are not out on DVD yet... what's with that? Here's just a short list of movies I would buy if they were available:

Star Wars Trilogy
White Nights
The Turning Point
Some Came Running
Two For the Road
What a Way to Go
A Night at the Opera
Duck Soup
Can-Can
Help!
Imagine: John Lennon

That's all I can think of right now... but I'm sure there are more.

Someday soon, I hope my back lets me sit up straight pain-free...

This is super sad. I actually cried yesterday when I heard it on the news...

Gregory Hines, 57, is dead of cancer

Steve Martin, this is why I love you...

It All Depends on What You Mean by 'Have'

I find it fun to read the blogs of random strangers and one of my favorites is Go Fish... the best thing about it is that she refers to our president as Bomby McSmarmypants. I like it!

There's this fun Shirley MacClaine movie that I catch on TV every once in awhile, it's called WHAT A WAY TO GO! My problem is that there is really not too much proof of this movie's existence, it's not on video or DVD and it doesn't even show up when you type it into Amazon. Sure, it's not the best movie ever, it's just a fun & silly 60's movie with a fun & silly premise:

Shirley MacClaine plays Loiusa who's engaged to the richest guy around (Dean Martin). But she just wants to live the simple life and marry for love so she marries the poorest guy around (Dick Van Dyke), who promptly becomes rich and then dies leaving her a millionaire. Then she goes to Paris, meets a poor artist (Paul Newman) and marries him. He promptly becomes successful and rich and dies, leaving her more millions. Next she marries a rich guy (Robert Mitchum) and they live a fabulous life until she convinces him to give up everything for the simple life. He dies and she inherits what's left of his massive millions. Then she meets a small-town performer (Gene Kelly), they get married, he gets rich & famous and dies, leaving her even more money. (this is somehow not as depressing as it sounds, it's all quite funny and there's these little movie-genre spoofs mixed in.)

You learn all of this through flashbacks, while Louisa tells this to therapist because she's convinced she's somehow cursed. The therapist asks her to marry him but she doesn't love him so she says no. He passes out and the janitor (Dean Martin, again) comes in to help. They recognize each other, he's lost everything and has taken to reading Thoreau and loves his simple life. She gives up all her money, they get married and have like a litter of kids, then he accidently strikes oil on their little farm and just when you think the curse is repeating itself, some men pull up and yell at him for punching a hole in their oil pipeline. So they live happily ever after... it's all very cute.

I don't know why it's not worthy of even VHS...

I noticed this morning that the coffee shop across the street from my apartment building has high speed wireless internet access so Moi is canceling her crap-ass dial up and taking advantage. If you need to find me I'll probably be hanging at Angel Falls and drinking lots of Iced Vanilla Lattes, making use of my laptop that lately has been looking depressed and lonely in it's pretty cabinet...

Friday Five time...

1. What's the last place you traveled to, outside your own home state/country?

I've thought about this and, sadly, I haven't been out of state since I went to Tennessee to see Deza and Jeff almost 2 years ago.

2. What's the most bizarre/unusual thing that's ever happened to you while traveling?

I've had some unusual/bizarre trips: Like my entire roadtrip to California w/Shani while fun was a bit bizarre what with her being preggars and all. That's also the trip where my sister disowned me because I didn't buy her lunch. My trip to California w/Brian was also bizarre as was my last trip to visit Brian in California... mainly because Brian is so bizarre. Or maybe the problem is California.

3. If you could take off to anywhere, money and time being no object, where would you go?

I feel like I've answered this before... I'm gonna stick with Italy and all the fun stuff I said in that post.

4. Do you prefer traveling by plane, train or car?

I don't think I've ever been on a real train trip.

I love roadtrips but I don't have the time to go everywhere in a car and there's no way to drive to Australia or Italy or Iceland, etc.

Planes are OK, but I have a lot of criteria. I watch those shows where they investigate plane crashes and make sure I'm not on any model of plane that they haven't fixed yet. Or I go with the odds, like Continental has the lowest flight to crash ratio, so I'd go with them. I've also deleted Delta from my list just because they suck. But I do actually enjoy flying, it's the landing that worries me, it always sounds like the plane is gonna blow up when they're braking.

5. What's the next place on your list to visit?

The next place on my list is always Italy until I finally go there but the next place I'm actually going is South Carolina to visit Deza and Jeff. If they keep moving I'll get to visit every state.

"When I die I want to be born again as me."

- Hugh Hefner

Rocky found Halloween candy at JoAnn Fabrics last night. There were 3 sugar pumpkins hanging out on top of my computer this morning when I got here. I was a little wary of it considering Halloween was 10 months ago, but then I thought that it's only about 2 months away and they do put Xmas stuff out before Halloween now. So maybe it's OK...

:-(

So, I totally fell asleep on my couch last night and missed The Isaac Mizrahi Show... plus I couldn't really fall asleep later so I didn't wake up until 9ish this morning. I need to work on my sleeping issues... but there's so many other things I need to work on and sleep seems like the least important.

You know that song "breaking up is hard to do?" This morning I was singing it but for me it's "waking up is hard to do."

Random thoughts...

I've probably said this before... but I love The Isaac Mizrahi Show! Hilarious... last night there was an episode with Jack Hanna the animal guy and oh. my. god. I almost fell over laughing.

It's all about Isaac on Oxygen right now with him hosting movies and his show on every night. Tonight's guest is Elmo... my least favorite Sesame Street character ever (I'm a Grover girl) but worth watching on Isaac.

Last night's movie was the wonderful 1995 documentary Unzipped about Isaac and his fashion collection. It has all of the SUPER supermodels including Cindy, Naomi, Linda, Christy, Shalom, and (my favorite) Kate.

Speaking of Kate Moss, she's on the cover (actually 9 covers) and 40 pages of the upcoming issue of W magazine. Considering that neither my local Barnes & Noble or Borders carries Vogue Italia anymore, I don't think they'll have all 9 covers of this issue (they also put W at the top of the magazine rack at B&N and short little me has to jump around like an idiot trying to get one down). But I'm sure they'll show them on Style.com website and I can just buy one. W has the absolute best fashion photography.

Meanwhile, have you seen the commercial for those new Bailey's minis? Can you say rip-off???? There are 4 teany-weany adorable bottles of Bailey's for (no joke) $12.99! I couldn't believe it. Me, cute-packaging sucker, could not even justify that expense ever. Instead I bought a big bottle of cheap Irish Cream for $12... which I promptly left unopened at the party.

That's it for now...

Lessons from my weekend...

- Drinking and vintage cars don't mix.
- There's a good reason why I don't drink Jager and this time I'm going to remember it.
- Never hang out with a kid when you're too drunk to know for sure that he's lying to you.
- I wasn't even anywhere near Rocky.
- Joplin the dog is the best company when you've had too much to drink.
- Men like to punch inanimate objects when they drink.
- Sober people might steal the guest bed when your drunk back is turned.
- Mike can eat more in one day than most 3rd world countries eat in a year.
- Never put off buying new tires so you can get another pair of shoes instead.
- If you really, really like the shoes just make sure your AAA membership is up to date.
- There are people who hang out in the mall all day long and don't buy a thing.
- I'll never be one of those people.

Life. It's always worth it if you learn something...

Someone lend me $50,000, I always wanted to know this...

Ebersol to learn ‘So Vain’ secret

I wonder if Amber Alerts work... we're sitting here having are Friday Meeting and they did one of those Emergency Broadcast System interruption on 98.5 for an Amber Alert. Some estranged father took off w/his 3 little kids. I've never heard one before but I suddenly feel like I need to be driving around looking for a black Nissan Pathfinder. I hope they find them quickly.

Yup, banning gay marriage is what this country should be focusing on... every thing that come out of the White House lately smacks of "There's nothing to see here, look over there!" " desperation.

City Pages: Bring 'em On!

Dear Mr. President -

Just because you keep repeating things over and over again, this does not make them true. Doesn't that big hunk of a bible you're oddly devoted to and obsessed with have anything to say about honesty? Plus, I see your administration commiting at least 3 of the deadly sins on a regular basis: greed, pride, and wrath... but then again... "we're all sinners and I caution those who may try to take a speck out of the neighbor's eye when they got a log in their own," so I clearly need to just shut up and not judge you.

Me

See I told you... Sage sent me this e-card this morning after I ran in the door at 9:30am sharp!

I would have been here even earlier but I went on a biscotti search this morning at West Point Market. Unfortunately, they only had a fancy-schmancy package for $8 so I elected to go without...

Lots of listy things today:

Blog Candy

1. How many houses have you lived in?
4 houses, 1 apartment

2. Which is your favourite room?
A closet's not technically a room but my walk-through closet at my Mom's house was my favorite. In my apartment it's my sunroom which I use as my bedroom.

3. What is your favourite piece of furniture?
I don't know, I have a lot of furniture.... my lazy boy is my favorite place to read. But I think I'm gonna go with my bed.

4. What is your favourite electrical appliance?
I know this is gonna sound super-girly of me but my straightening iron.

5. What would your dream house be like?
Do you have all day? It depends on which dream house you mean... I love all different kinds of architecture so I have about 10-15 "dream houses" going on in my head. One of my most recent dreams is to buy the old closed down bowling alley down the street from me and recycle it into a really cool living space. Rip out all but five of the lanes, put up some open space lofty-kinda walls. It would be sooooo cool and party-central. And you could wear any kind of shoes you wanted in my private bowling alley. Plus there would be a big roof garden and deck.

6. Which area would you choose to live in if you could live anywhere?
If I had lots of money and could really live anywhere... then I'd have a house in Westfield Center, a villa in Tuscany, and a another place in Sydney, Australia for winter (cause it's summer there).

7. How many rooms does your home have?
My dream home or current home? my bowling alley living space would have something like 12 rooms + 4 bathrooms. My apartment has 6 rooms.

8. What's your favourite decorating colour scheme?
Martha Stewart lambs ear green on walls w/white trim.

9. Which would you have if you could only have one - bath or shower?
shower

10. Do you have a garden, and do you like gardening?
nope no garden in my 3rd floor walkup, but I think they should put an urban garden on my roof to cool off the building. I'd love to have a rose garden.

Friday Five

1. What time do you wake up on weekday mornings?
Officially, my wake-up call is between 6:30-7:00am. That's not to say I actually get up then...

2. Do you sleep in on the weekends? How late?
Usually. Sometimes, 10:00am, sometimes noon, more than one time 5:00pm...

3. Aside from waking up, what is the first thing you do in the morning?
I sit at my dining room table until I'm ready to get moving.

4. How long does it take to get ready for your day?
About 30-45 minutes.

5. When possible, what is your favorite place to go for breakfast?
Bavarian Deli in Medina. They have Yummy bavarian sausage...